What is sexual freedom? Those of us on the harder end of the sexual spectrum tend to feel that sexual freedom is the right for us to engage in that which satisfies the itch. The cravings that drive us insane being forced to live in a vanilla world.
The vanilla world, more so the morality police like to exert control over our behaviors in some sort of power play to score political points. To make scapegoats of us.
Nowadays, it is my contention that most kinksters under 40 really don’t understand the struggle to have rough sex without getting arrested. When art comes into the popular concessions we feel a sense of false safety that maybe society is changing. I am sorry to tell you this but it is not. After every gain of freedom there is a mighty and painful push back.
Don’t believe me? Look around you.
We have president Cheeto. Extreme right wing nut-jobs are foaming at the mouth and are not only embolden but have political power. They are writing our laws.
In 1987, in Manchester England a group of leather men got busted in a raid of their dungeon. They were arrested and CONVICTED for consensual BDSM. They were not only charged with engaging that day but for their involvement over a ten-year period.
Things have not changed that much. But now in the age of the internet, thought crimes help the authority reach into our bedrooms and basements. Even I writing this article am taking a massive risk.
Tech companies that we use, most times for the mighty dollar fold under pressure.
Facebook, which the kink community uses in droves if highly censored, data mines and routinely erases groups and bans their users, restricting our engagement with each other. The largest social network controls what we can post and what we can say. Nazis right groups can post what they want all day but post a nipple or the outline of a cock and see who violates “terms of service” the fastest.
Fetlife, which is supposedly make by us for us, not too long ago banned and deleted whole swaths of its content. Nothing involving alcohol or drug use, no race play or anything that might be construed as hate speech, nothing that would be categorized as obscene (such as incest) or as causing permanent or lasting bodily harm, and—most significantly of all—nothing depicting consensual non-consent, such as simulated rape or abduction. Most of which comprise 99 percent of my fetishes. The site is now useless to me. All to keep vendors happy and the money coming.
Sometimes people have to fight hate with love. They have to rebel and do so to take the risks to win the freedom we richly deserve. We need now for that ever to defiantly love furiously comes what may.
Love is our resistance.
So now in the spirit of resistance, a now banned on Fetlife writing from my erotic archives:
“It was me.
I am the one whom gave you that scar. I am the one whom planted the seed in you. I slammed you against the wall. I ripped your pajamas off with my knife.
I stabbed it into the drywall as a warning.
“Don’t fucking move…”
It was me. It was always me.
I am the one that held you down. Had my villainous way with you. Now spent…curled into your arms crying. Ashamed of what I had done.
The beast now asleep leaving me a broken man.
Ashamed of the monster inside me proved society right. Afraid one day…one day he might kill you.
How could a man who loved you be so…evil. How could a man love so much he would do anything for you do THAT.
You swore it was ok. I insisted it wasn’t.
I ran away from you. I ran away from myself.
Now you subconsciously reenact the torture. You seek the beast I unleashed. That I made you crave.
Now I punish everyone I fuck for not being you.
It was always you.”
Each month in this space will either be advice from yours truly or a rant filled musing filled with leather history and topics NOBODY talks about. So strap in and strap on because this Sir is about to take you for a ride. Ask me ANYTHING at firstname.lastname@example.org.