Gay, Open, Poly, Bear Quad: An Introduction

So if you read the FULL name of the column you get the idea of who we are – four guys in the bear community (OK, ok, ok, three bears and a chaser/admirer) who are in one big four-man open relationship. I’ll be sharing bits of our life together, funny, frustrating, maybe even the mundane. The logical place to start is with the introduction of the key players. For now, at least, mine is the only actual name I will use, so here goes:

Gay Open Poly QuadMike – I’m currently 41, (42 shortly after this will be published) and a big guy – a BEAR you might say. I would love to call myself a musclebear as I love my time in the gym, but my metabolism would rather hang on to every calorie I’ve ever known than ever burn off a single one. OK, not that bad, but you get the Idea. So here I am, somewhere between musclebear and a standard issue soft n squishy bear.

The Bear – I’ve been with the other “bear” of the household for over 14 years now. He’s 40 and a big guy, but unlike me, he’s hairy like a bear. The first time my mother saw him shirtless, she said something to the effect of “If I didn’t already believe in evolution, I would now.”

The Cubby – He’s been with us for just over 6 years. We met him a few months before his 21st birthday, and he moved in shortly after turning 21. As you can imagine, he’s done a lot of growing up since being part of my family. We’ve definitely been through some ups and downs with him, and he’s still here.

The Boy – We met him over New Year’s of 2013, in the middle of him going through basic training. None of the three of us were seriously looking for another guy to join our family, but The Boy was absolutely all about all of us. We spent nearly six months being pen pals, and then text/skype buddies, and then in June of 2013, after getting out of the Army, he moved in with us, at 20 years old. A year and a half later, I can’t say there aren’t still adjustments occurring, but then life is about adjusting on a day to day stream of changes…

SO please, join me here for my monthly column: “Gay, Open, Poly, Bear Quad.” I’ll be writing about our life, any/all of the categories that make our relationship what it is. Also feel free to check out my blog at http://gopbqfortwwayne.blogspot.com/ . I’ll probably hit on the same topics there, and possibly more.


Mike is a 40-something bear in the great Metropolis of Fort Wayne, IN. He lives with his three partners and works in the retail home improvement industry. He has been active in the gay community in Fort Wayne and online for 20+ years, having volunteered for a gay/lesbian helpline, been involved in multiple LGBT community groups, and worked as a DJ in multiple gay clubs. His Gay Open Poly Bear quad blog can be seen at http://gopbqfortwwayne.blogspot.com/.

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